It feels better than great to say that I have one of the greatest women that I know by my side.
I love everything about you down to the baby talk voices you make when I do something you love.
Despite all the tears and the heartache we go through from time to time , I love knowing that after the storm that things are alright.
Monique Shante Mitchell which will in fact become the woman I choose and will be honored to give and never regret continuing the Brown family name.
I love you with all my heart and soul.
You are my other half.
My greater good and the woman of my lifetime.
Thank you for all the memories you have given me and all the memories that are sure to come .
I can’t wait until the end of this month so we can embark on our lifelong dreams together.
I can honestly say its worth it and every second of it I will cherish.
Thank you once again for never losing sight of our love for one another , thank you for loving me , but, most importantly thank you for accepting me and sticking with me through it all. It truly means a lot to me.
So with all that being said lets make more memorable moments for time and us to see until we are old sitting in rocking chairs talking about our triumph memories with our grand babies children.
Because ultimately that’s where I see you and me.
I love you Path.
They say the underdog always wins when it comes to competition or anything competitive based. I see it quite differently honestly. How can the underdog win if he is always being under estimated ? I tell you how ! The answer is with hope. Hope is what drives the salmon up the stream and keeps the dream alive. Hope is what pushes the caterpillar to the limits to escape the cocoon as a butterfly.
Hope is what classifies and categorizes the underdog in a league in which he can be a part of.
I am proud to be a underdog. I am proud to prove those who see me as weak or not stable enough wrong. The underdog role is like a blessing with a curse attached to it. Which never drops off or ceases to happen. So tell me is being the underdog really that bad ?
I needed a place so I thought here was the best choice ,
I needed your body but fell for your voice,
No rhythm not speed or rhythmic vision ,
All I needed was love now here’s the unseen vision.
You can talk all that and make some noise ,
I can see right through that and see the crying voice ,
A girl that’s trapped inside a bear-trap,
Who wants simple way out but, no one gives that.
I see the trap - I ain’t telling no lies ,
Just break the situation that put inside ,
You may think that fowl but in actually I’m a respectful owl,
Whose learns from the fouls - can lead the way out just listen how.
Slow down a bit we are young kids ,
Live life slow not fast as a pig ,
Learn that love is easily to get ,
One man’s lost is another man’s banquet.
C is for cooperate no operating anything ,
Unless we both co sign upon the dotted line ,
If you time just ask to get it ,
I am your genie I’ll grant it.
M is for more of the woman that I love ,
No more sad girl crying for doves ,
Ill be your black angel from the heavens above ,
But you have to pay in sweet luscious love.
T is for together we can always make it better ,
Communicate what you need ,
I will get these things - just promise that you’ll love me….
like a prince ,
And we can Climb-Mountain-Tops and walk into abyss.
Peace , Love , & Soul
Its crazy how when you lose someone you try so much more and harder to get them back. On a day like this when the rain is flowing from the skies and the memories from the past come back it seems hard to just not care. Today I woke up feeling like complete ass simply because the night before Monique and our memories became deeply embedded into my mind. More than they were before. An I also thought about our last visit how we both parted ways how I cried and felt the passion I haven’t felt in days. I feel like a fool because she moved on or at least that’s what I believe. I am still stuck in this sand pit of misery in which I can’t escape. Talks with friends and activities followed by work seem to occupy me momentarily. Its only when I’m alone I seem to be engaged with thoughts about our past and memories I truly won’t regret.
I just want to work past the drama and work towards the future followed by the promises I intend to keep.
I just wish I could get the chance to prove myself once again.
But for now I guess I see this as a reflection of which I don’t want to happen again.
Maybe when we talk things can get easier and we find our way back to each other.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
My heart is dry pumping blood,
over the missing factor of you.
It is true that I lust,
It is true that I desire,
I don’t want to put out,
I want to rekindle the fire.
Pushing for success,
Aiming even higher,
Hoping for the best,
Loving throughout each hour.
Even if I’m not with you,
I still feel you from within,
Like the needle that hit my chest,
My burning desires are intentional like storms and wind.
Where to end,
Where to begin,
Accept my love,
More than a friend.
As I lay down thinking without my eyes blinking. Mind sinking into darkness lips overcome by numbness.
I try and put thoughts together with ideas. Which isn’t happening right now at this moment in the right ways…
I just want to say I love you and feel the comfort of your arms around me like before. To feel your angel like hair in my hands as I stroke your head and watch you dose off into rest.
To see your face at peace, to see your body relaxed, to admire your essence as a beautiful young woman , to hear the settle air come from your lungs as you breathe.
Its amazing how much I payed attention to your blissful moments of rest when your weren’t able to see me do it.
You couldn’t see the moments when my eyes would burn and turn red as tears streamed from the lenses of my eyes.
You didn’t hear the praise I would mumble to God as I lay next to your everlasting temple.
Temble in which I use metaphorically to describe the sensational soul in which is encased in your body. If I had to describe it in so many words I would say it was like being made love to at the right moment while emotions flare around the room like fireflies in the night.
An as I lay here I feel the urge to replicate the ways you would hold my body. The way you would lay your heart upon my chest and listen to beat of the drum in which I call my heart. You said “it made you feel safe”. An safe is what I felt in the presence of a stunning goddess as such as yourself.
It is at moments like this as I lay overcome with emotion and passion that I wish that we could reenact the moments. An not only reenact but, allow those moments to flourish for milliseconds, seconds, minutes , hours , days , weeks, months, years, decades, and even a century if the lord was so willing to allow it.
But as I lay here in silence staring at the white wall ahead of me I invison those classic memories and let tears of joy stream. Those were iconic , they were powerful , and they were magical like the moment we shared for our early Valentine’s day.
But it is only a memory right ? Or is this what you think of to as you lay ? As I lay I stay humble. Trusting that one glorious day. My goddess will enter my chamber once again and make me feel numb as I lay.
I wonder if I am making a mistake,
To let go and not to wait ,
That was the question but not the solution.
To fight and suffer for success and happiness ,
Just to see you one day ,
In a white dress.
I wonder if this is momentary ,
An far from permanent ,
So I know that what I am doing is right & to leave would cause regret.
But with all upsides there is a downfall ,
With every problem there is a solution ,
What we choose sometimes could damage us more than better us.
I wonder if he knows everything ,
I wonder if he truly accepts ,
I wonder is this real or is it another test.
But with all the wonders in the world to be worried about I only think of one the most,
I wonder if my love is a living organism in you or was I a joke ?
I would throw it all on the line just to spend time with you. I would walk threw shit and turn around and eat it for you. I accept you for all the flaws , the imperfections , and mixed emotions. Love was taught to me by you and because of you I grew from a boy to a young man now. The love we shared was much more than a grain of salt or better yet sand.
Now that we parted ways I strive to be friends and stay in your heart because that’s where you will be in mine. Even if you throw me on the back burner and called years later just to say sorry. I would accept your apology. An take you in like food to my tummy.
Things are a miss and I don’t know what to do because I have never been threw this.
So I will let you be who you are and do what you do. Because the more you push me away the more my mind becomes clueless.
I love you and I will miss you. Eventually things will turn around but, for now I say goodbye and sign off because I was in the skies but, now I’m French kissing the ground.